just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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