So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
