I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
