Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
