you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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