Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
