once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
