I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
