So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
