We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
