I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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