He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
