Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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