for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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