she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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