Who wears a wallet chain?!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
