he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I forget how to act sober
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
