The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
