Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
