So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
