I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
