Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
