listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
