Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
