OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize