your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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