my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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