he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Boobs speak an international language.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
