you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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