it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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