so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
