If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
