I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
