I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
