I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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