i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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