Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
