no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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