Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
