I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize