I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
