Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
