do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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