I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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