Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dick very happy bro
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
