Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
