BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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