shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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