im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
