How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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