You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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