There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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