Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
