I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
