u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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