I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
