I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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