can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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