Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
