do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
