So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
