first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
