where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
