So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
