Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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