You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
