For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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