is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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