Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
