420 ftw
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize