so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
