I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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