I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
