My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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